For the Moment

January in Pictures

2012-01-23T14:23:00.002-06:00

Heidi and I are the judges.

Heidi reading a book, Julius reading a book, Ethan reading a tank.

Straw glasses.

Ethan and Papa work while Julius supervises with a candy cane.

Heidi made a cake for Julius' 2nd birthday that looked like 2 giant cookies.

The brothers are in there.

Ethan and Elijah

Our friend Jamon giving us a little living-room rap session on a Sunday afternoon.

Best of 2011 (as best as we could remember this morning)

2011-12-31T09:37:00.002-06:00

Heidi:
Daniel returning from China
Singing carols at the nursing home, and Etta walking to her for the first time
Reading Harry Potter
Going to the cabin and the kids exploring the outdoors
Ethan and Adelaide learning to read

Jason:
Coaching Adelaide's soccer team (The Rainbow Rhinos)
Riding the Texas Giant with Ethan
8 years with Heidi
Baylor Homecoming Game with the family

Ethan:
Learning to snowboard
1st grade is "okay"
Going to Great Wolf Lodge
Breathing fire

Adelaide:
Learning to snowboard
Going to Great Wolf Lodge
Going to Kindergarten

Family Christmas Picture

2011-12-16T14:03:00.002-06:00

Here's a little behind the scenes:

First we did a dry run, mainly to make sure the wands were working. Julius! Never walk between a wand duel!

Then we added the tree.

Then Heidi and I held the lights and we got our working shots of the kids.

Then, once the kids were asleep, we took the shots of us on the couch.

Merry Christmas!

It's the End of the World as She Knows It

2011-08-22T10:17:00.003-05:00

To Adelaide,
You're sitting in your first day of Kindergarten right now, most likely learning something that was a part of my third-grade curriculum. I didn't see giant inflatable letters in your room, but l did see lots of interesting books and enough supplies and oddities to inspire an episode of Hoarders.

You are a brave, spirited girl and I think you're going to love this year at school. I'm most looking forward to you learning new ways to express yourself- through words, music and art. Mommy and I are proud of you and we'll enjoy this year with you. Julius is probably going to miss having his play buddy around during the day, but we all know Mommy is his current favorite anyway so maybe he'll find this new alone time as a little perk.

I hope you enjoy your napkin note (link coming soon), it felt like the perfect picture for you.

To Heidi,
Judes, I'm intensely grateful for you today. You have poured an immense amount of love and care into Adelaide over the past six years and have helped prepare her for such a time as this. She is a passionate soul and maybe the strongest-willed of the bunch, but you've helped her find her way and have given her voice in the shadow of her big brother.

I could not imagine a greater mother for her, and I am so proud of your relentless commitment to our family.

It's the end of the world as she knows it,
and she feels fine.

Papa and Adelaide, Dirtbiking 101

2011-07-18T11:06:00.003-05:00

The Wild Things

2011-07-18T09:55:00.002-05:00

Pictures from a recent trip to the family cabin in East Texas with our swell friends, the Wallaces.

Fireplace Mantle

2011-07-18T09:39:00.000-05:00

Fire Drill

2011-07-04T15:32:00.003-05:00

One of the perks of being a foster family is mandatory fire drills at your home. I think it's a fine rule.

We're not currently fostering... but Heidi felt inspired, maybe with it being a day of fireworks and very dry grass everywhere...so about ten minutes ago she initiated an impromptu fire drill. I was playing the piano, Julius was asleep, Adelaide was riding around on Julius' tricycle and Ethan was in his underwear (yes, it's 3pm...I don't know how he gets more progressively undressed throughout the day, but there you have it).

We were heading out the front door to our meeting spot when Ethan suddenly (and maybe for the first time ever) felt the impending shame of being in the front yard in his skimpies. He bolted back into the house hyper and yelling as loud as he could (presumably at the imaginary fire) as he ran down the hall, which in-turn woke up a sleeping Julius.

We have fierce anti-yelling policies when Julius is asleep, a rule truly designed for the greater good. My first thought was to take issue with Ethan breaking the rule, but then I thought:

1. It's a FIRE DRILL! Yelling children is probably a good thing in such a scenario.

2. It's a FIRE DRILL!....and Julius is SLEEPING IN THE HOUSE?!

To deepen the confusion, Heidi, Ethan and Adelaide sat at the meeting spot for several 100 degree minutes, waiting for Julius and I to make our escape... not knowing that I was inside changing his diaper and forsaking the entire drill.

All in all, the performance would have undoubtedly earned us a few demerits from the foster board. We'll regroup and be ready for the next time Heidi gets the itch to sound the alarm.

Vickery Meadow Soccer

2011-07-01T15:02:00.004-05:00

Tomorrow is our fourth weekend of Refugee Soccer here in Dallas. It's our third season, and it's becoming a demanding and highly enriching part of my life here in Dallas. It's a bizarre thing to drive into Vickery Meadow in-and-of-itself, but to then park near a field and watch as over 100 kids emerge from the streets and apartments to come and play soccer is just wild. Kids from some of the most torn countries on the planet, relocated here to this vast apartment jungle through the US Relocation Program.

They face huge challenges as they adapt to our culture and way of life. Many of them are fatherless, many of them start their education way behind, many of them are connected to gangs that have split Vickery Meadow into competing territories. The languages, dialects and diets are across the board, but we've found at least one thing that transcends all of it: Soccer.

We give them a league in their own neighborhood. We bring in the goals, the shirts, the water, the staff, the refs (me!), the love and the sweat. It all kind of hangs on by a thread, but it also works. Along the way, we try to share with the kids one other thing that transcends their differences and challenges: the love of God and the hope of Christ.

Ethan is playing in the younger division this year, which I'm really excited about. I know it's a little intimidating for him since these kids are a bit older and filled with soccer instinct. But he'll hold his own, and hopefully enjoy a summer of soccer in what feels for now like another world.

Dessert and Such

2011-06-27T20:29:00.004-05:00

Tonight the rule at dinner was no dessert unless all veggies were eaten.

We went through the various stages of incentive programs: verbal reminders, a "claw game" that involves their bites pushing back a sinister claw (my hand) grabbing for their forbidden sweets, me with a guitar drumming up improv motivational songs, and then eventually... the timer.

The timer is the legalist of all legalists. Precise, ruthlessly calculated, with no gracious slowing down between seconds. The cold beeps come quickly and do not lie. And tonight the timer made Ethan a winner, and Adelaide a loser. If she had eaten the veggies with the vigor she displayed during the last 30 seconds, then we would have been done way back during the verbal reminder stage, but that's just not what we humans do.

So, Ethan claimed his prize and Adelaide initiated the next chapter of our dinner saga:

"Daddy, can I still have dessert?"

I'm sure the questions get harder as they get older...but for now this is pretty much the worst of the worst. It hits both the parental duty nerve and the melt-my-heart-sweet-daughter nerve simultaneously, causing instant disorientation that the kids fully exploit. Here is the conversation that followed:

Daddy: "Adelaide did you follow the rule?"
Adelaide: "No."
Daddy: "So if you didn't follow the rule, is it fair that you should get dessert?"
Adelaide: "Daddy, can I have dessert."

Daddy: "Well, you can't, because you broke the rule."
Adelaide: "I tried to eat my vegetables."
Daddy: "I know you did, but the rule wasn't about trying."
Ethan: "Daddy, just give her the dessert."
Daddy: "I can't, then I'm breaking the rule."

At this point, the kids were both laying on the tile of the kitchen; Ethan with candy in his mouth, Adelaide waiting for something to give. I decided I'd use this moment to explain forgiveness, God's gift of love, the greatness of God giving us second chances by letting Jesus take our punishment. I thought I pretty much nailed it.

Ethan: "This is taking like 8 hours."
Adelaide: "Daddy, can I have dessert?"

I wrapped it up by telling Adelaide that I would not have dessert tonight, and that even though it would hurt me a bit, I'd be happy to do it so that she could. I told her that I'd take on the consequence of breaking the rule, and that she could now go and get dessert.

Then she cried. She was sad that I said that it would hurt me. I knew that was a strong way to say it, so I made sure to explain it so that she wasn't confused. She quickly moved on to dessert once I assured her that I was happy for her to do so.

I told her to enjoy the dessert and to think about how much more God must love us with all of the things He gives us.

Adelaide: "Okay Daddy."
Ethan: "Yeah, he made cows, and... THEY GIVE US ICE CREAM!"

Map Love

2011-06-15T10:47:00.003-05:00

This 1901 map from the Eastern Telegraph Company is an interesting view of how the world communicated back then. The red lines are telegraph cables.

From wikipedia:
Oceanic telegraph cables
The first commercially successful transatlantic telegraph cable was successfully completed on 18 July 1866. The lasting connections were achieved by the ship SS Great Eastern, captained by Sir James Anderson.[11] Earlier transatlantic submarine cables installations were attempted in 1857, 1858 and 1865. The 1857 cable only operated intermittently for a few days or weeks before it failed. The study of underwater telegraph cables accelerated interest in mathematical analysis of very long transmission lines. The telegraph lines from Britain to India were connected in 1870 (those several companies combined to form the Eastern Telegraph Company in 1872).

Australia was first linked to the rest of the world in October 1872 by a submarine telegraph cable at Darwin. Further advancements in telegraph technology occurred in the early 1870s, when Thomas Edison devised a full duplex two-way telegraph and then doubled its capacity with the invention of quadruplex telegraphy in 1874. Edison filed for a U.S. patent on the duplex telegraph on 1 September 1874 and received U.S. Patent 480,567 on 9 August 1892.

The telegraph across the Pacific was completed in 1902, finally encircling the world.

Via Boing Boing

Cuz' Camp

2011-06-13T16:13:00.001-05:00

A Message From Ethan

2011-06-06T14:25:00.002-05:00

*Both front teeth are gone. The first fell out in church recently, and the second embedded into a marshmallow over the weekend. The tooth fairy has now added both to her/his permanent collection.

Playing With Blocks

2011-05-11T15:15:00.000-05:00

I'm working on a magazine cover, and the approved concept gave me the chance to use some of Ethan, Adelaide and Julius' blocks. I collected the desired ones this morning, raising a few questions from the kids as they watched their precious inventory disappear into my bag. I assured them they'd see the blocks again, and tried to convince them that the blocks might even enjoy the chance to be featured on the cover of a magazine.

I'll post the finished project once I'm allowed to.

Adelaide

2011-05-10T16:30:00.003-05:00

Sweetheart, you don't know this, but I check on you just about every night before I go to sleep. Every so often I discover a small need that I get to meet, like fixing your blanket or moving you away from the edge. Most nights though, I just spend a moment watching you sleep, and each and every time I feel inexplicable joy.

You are my precious daughter, and you are unlike anyone else that I know. I love the games and stories that we have created, the art classes and the soccer games. I love that you see my neckties as perfect belts for your budding fashion sense, evidence that you already have more style than me.

I love your bedtime prayers, how you thank God for making the people you love, and how you pray for the things we all long for; no fighting, no sickness, more friendship and more desserts.

You're a passionate soul, and as you enter into your sixth year, I'm struck with how much you are growing up and how evident it is in the way you handle your feelings (and interactions with your big brother). I'm proud of you for continuing to work toward respect in frustrating moments, and for being willing to do things that are not always your first choice.

It's also a joy to me to see your love for your baby brother. You are a great big sister to him, and he has learned a lot already just from all of the time you have spent loving on him.

Mommy and I are so grateful for who you are and the beautiful spirit that you bring to our family. I love you from here to the moon and all the way to the cabin.

Daddy

Julius

2011-04-20T10:09:00.002-05:00

This little guy deserves a poem too, but I kind of exhausted my creative juices yesterday.

Ethan, Part 2

2011-04-19T14:28:00.000-05:00

And to your friend
In the other room
Crying as Love was worked out
she too has a will, and aimed it no doubt
toward your good and the Peace we’re about

Ethan

2011-04-19T12:22:00.003-05:00

I broke your heart,
Broke mine too
But in the moment, I made a move
And even with my best intent
I pray we make it through

Crushing spirit,
Silencing voice,
You took a stand, I took your choice
And if I’m to decide for you and me,
let Love be my only rejoice

Because it’s not my place
To lord over you,
An upper hand to bruise or subdue
But rather to serve, to be great and least
And crawl toward what is True

Two things I know
From morning’s fight
That it’s hard for us both to find what’s right
But furthermore, and of this I’m sure,
You are precious in my sight.

*Note: the line referencing bruising is an affirmation that it is not my place to abuse my strength, not a description of an actual occurrence.

Haiti

2011-04-15T16:12:00.002-05:00

The sights:

The Sounds:
GirlsChoir by JasonJudy
LordsPrayer by JasonJudy

The Most Adorable Snowboard Boot

2011-04-01T09:27:00.002-05:00

I'm way behind on posting our pictures from Colorado a few weeks ago, but I promise some great ones are coming! Here's Adelaide's awesome little snowboard boot as a teaser.

Band Aspirations

2011-03-03T10:21:00.003-06:00

Ethan: "I want to have Macy and Jackson come over so that we can practice being a rock band. Then we will go to a movie theater and play music for the people."

Daddy: "That sounds cool, but it's going to take a lot of practice. What instrument do you want to play?"

Ethan: "Daddy?! The rock guitar of course! The problem is I don't have nice clothes for the concert."

Daddy: "Do you mean costumes? Or do you mean nice clothes like suits?"

Ethan: "Both."

(I have no idea where this is heading, but I'm seeing music lessons in his very near future!)

> Ethan, The Dallas Morning News

2011-02-22T10:31:00.003-06:00

Ethan's school was recently featured in a story about new ways that technology is being used in classrooms, and he ended up being featured in a nice photo leading the article. Full story below or via Ethan's class blog:

>Show the Article

Area districts spent stimulus money on new technology, teacher training

“Be bold. Think very creatively and innovatively.”
That’s how the Texas Education Agency urged school districts to spend their federal stimulus funds. The advice was part of a 2009 online seminar, one of the office’s many attempts to help districts figure out the best, legal way to spend the money.
But in the same webinar, the TEA also said districts should avoid falling off the budget “cliff” when the money runs out at the end of 2011.

So administrators took the safe road, avoiding major education reform efforts and focusing on lower-key improvement.
In North Texas, money went to things such as diversity seminars, new classroom technology and training for teachers. Even though the programs are not flashy, educators hope they will have an impact.

As part of the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009 , Texas was allocated $6.3 billion in federal funds in three areas — money for special education, schools with high percentages of poor students and stabilization funds.
In general, stabilization funds were spent on basic expenses such as salaries, according to reports filed with the Texas Education Agency.

Last fall, districts and charter schools filled out an online report showing how the stabilization money was spent in the 2009-10 school year.

The state did not ask how much money was spent or for any details about the goals. Districts simply checked off whether they had spent money in one of the four reform areas set by federal rules.
Districts were to use creative means to improve college and career readiness, use data systems to track student performance, increase teacher effectiveness and turn around the state’s lowest-performing schools.
Some critics, such as Colleen Eddy, assistant education professor at the University of North Texas, said the goals of the stimulus were too broad, and the amount budgeted was too small to bring deep, lasting changes.

“They were not directed enough to say that you did radically change anything,” she said.

To make a real difference, there should have been more money narrowly focused on specific proven programs over a longer time frame, she said.

Still, all districts were required to mark categories that would link the spending to an area of reform.
In the TEA survey, more than 70 percent of districts statewide said they used money for improving teacher effectiveness, one of the reform areas in federal rules. Of those, about 30 percent reported using the funds for elementary teacher salaries, with additional money going to middle and high school teacher salaries.

Few districts reported allocating money to bonuses, overtime pay or administrative salaries.

The districts justified the expenditures by checking boxes saying they expected to retain experienced teachers, keep lower student-to-teacher ratios and improve test scores.

Some used teacher effectiveness money in unusual ways. One said it bought a portable classroom to add a pre-kindergarten program. Alvarado ISD added a library, paid for librarians and bought some school supplies, the survey showed.
Improving college and career readiness, another of the four areas, was listed by about half the districts. Some went for extra science instruction. There also was money for English language learners and career and technology instruction.
About a third said they spent to improve low-performing schools, and more than a fourth paid for improving data systems.
About three dozen districts said they spent federal money to hire a consultant to fill out paperwork to get the funds.
Several used money for utility bills, saying a more comfortable environment aided learning.

Creative spending
Many superintendents turned to their wish lists — things they had wanted to do but didn’t have the money for — to find creative ways to spend the funds.

Garland spent $165,000 on diversity training for all staff members who deal with students, from teachers to bus drivers, principals, custodians and cafeteria workers.

The district’s 57,600 students are almost 75 percent minority, and the 3,700 teachers are about 70 percent white.
Superintendent Curtis Culwell said that meant the district needed to make sure the staff is ready to work with students from all backgrounds. Some, he said, may have stereotypes that prevent them from being effective with their students.

“Diversity training is a way to make sure these teachers are cognizant of the issues their students may be dealing with, issues that the teachers may be unaware of. It helps our teachers and, in turn, helps our students,” Culwell said.

In Fort Worth, stimulus funds paid for basic expenses so that the district could keep an effective teacher coaching program.
The district selects some of the best teachers, gives them special training and then sends them out to work one-on-one with teachers who are struggling in the classroom.

“It is expensive, but you have to think what gets me the most bang for the buck,” said Carolyne Creel, the district’s executive director of literacy and humanities, who works with the program.
Districts also received money for schools with high poverty rates, known as Title I, as well as funds for special education.

This is where most reform efforts were targeted, officials said. Money was most often spent on technology and training teachers to use it. Plano spent $300,000 on a mobile computer lab to help parents with language and computer skills. The district hopes that it will create a stronger relationship with the parents, and that they will become more involved with the schools.

Some North Texas districts used Title I money to rewire buildings to make them more technology friendly. Others bought new computers or other classroom items.

For instance, Mesquite invested in electronic white boards for classrooms in Title I schools. They serve like giant computer screens, allowing students to use creative software as a group. Other districts bought COWs, computers on wheels. Computers, usually laptops, are stored on rolling racks that can be moved from room to room to allow more students keyboard time.
Other money was spent on programs to train teachers in using the new gadgets.

‘Definite impact’
The trick now is continuing programs begun with stimulus funds.
“There’s a definite impact,” said Richard Matkin, Plano’s associate superintendent for business services.
Plano officials are scrounging for any unspent federal funds and hoping for increased grants in special education and low-income programs. The district believes it will be able to keep the mobile classroom rolling, since most of the expense was in outfitting the travel trailer.

But Mesquite ISD Superintendent Linda Henrie said without the stimulus money the district will not be able to put electronic white boards in classrooms as quickly and will have less training for teachers on how to use them.

A bigger concern is personnel. Most districts hired few new employees, instead moving staff members from other positions.
Frisco, as did many other local districts, added support personnel in special education and worked on new ways to help students with poor behavior. Many of those placed in support jobs were teachers, and hopefully they will return to the classroom, administrators from several districts said.

Texas Education Commissioner Robert Scott said he is concerned that no gains made with the stimulus money will be lasting, especially those in special education and Title I schools.

He said he hopes that additional federal money for those programs will be found.
Federal Title I and special education funding dropped to pre-stimulus levels in the 2011 budget, but additional money is included in the 2012 budget released Monday, U.S. Education Department spokeswoman Sandra Abrevaya said.

Even though the reforms were not as major as many had thought they would be, district officials still think they will be significant for students.

“Change in the classroom? We hope so,” said Phyllis Parker, Garland’s assistant superintendent for educational operations.

> To the Squirrel That Died in Our Attic

2011-02-22T09:52:00.004-06:00

I'm sorry.

I tried to do things proper, and I gave you a solid 5 hours to respond to my warning call (a generous spreading of harmless Critter Ritter). You must have been sleeping quite soundly to ignore the smell and the sound of me climbing around in the attic. And once I sealed your fate with chicken wire and a bunch of screws, I unknowingly chose an unpleasant final chapter for you.

I know that I you and I are different, and that you are far from a dog or some other animal that we humans project relational feelings toward, but you were a living being alongside my family...and you were doing exactly what you were created to do: take care of yourself, find decent shelter and avoid things that will hurt you.

I mostly do the same, and I suppose that here is where we face the reality that a hostile world often pits shared ambitions against one another.

I don't believe that everything is as it ought to be, and I think this has huge implications for both my life and yours.

The wolf shall dwell with the lamb,
and the leopard shall lie down with the young goat,
and the calf and the lion and the fattened calf together;

Isaiah 11:6

We're not there yet, and it is evident in crippling, grandiose ways as well as in tiny, seemingly insignificant moments. You, squirrel, were one of those smaller moments.

I can't say that you will be terribly missed, but do take some comfort in knowing that a few tears were shed... kind of.

> Snow Much Fun

2011-02-07T15:32:00.003-06:00

As you may have read in any of the scathing Super Bowl reviews, we had a little winter weather last week. A layer of classic Texas ice covered with 6" of snow made for no school or work for almost the entire week. So, we tried to make the most of it:

Ice 4-wheeling(my truck, a long rope, a bungee cord, the kids' 4-wheeler, and helmets)
This was in honor of my own memories of holding onto a rope while being pulled through icy alleys in an inflated tire. The kids had a blast skidding through the streets. We drove over to a friend's house and stopped by, and I was convinced they were calling CPS as I drove off with Adelaide skidding sideways 20 feet behind me. (pictures below)

Waffle House and Donuts
We loaded up into the 4x4 truck and plowed through 6" of snow (on top of the sheet of ice) to meet up with Papa at Waffle House. As expected, Waffle House was packed. Ethan and Adelaide raided the jukebox for some Johnny Cash and back-to-back performances of Hey Ya (Outkast). After Waffle House we went in pursuit of sledding devices, which we eventually found. But it was during this journey that we spotted a completely untracked parking lot by Wal-Mart...and the donuts soon followed. I think everyone was slightly terrified, and Heidi was convinced that there were buried curbs that I was about to crash us into. I suppose she could have been right...

Sledding!
The highlight was two days of sledding. There's a fun hill that we used last year when we got snow. It was a community spectacle, with a full spectrum of cardboard, plastic, metal, fabric and wood flying down the hill at any given moment. It was immediately obvious that finding sleds in TX stores is hard...and that people will sled anyway.

We spent hours on the hill with friends and strangers. Organized chaos abounded. (pictures below)

> 1 Year Ago

2011-01-15T17:30:00.003-06:00

Ethan and Adelaide, hesitant in the doorway as Julius arrived from the hospital (January 21, 2010).

Julius, you'll have to understand their nervous excitement, as we had only been called the day before, notifying us that we were your proud new family. A new baby is a lot to prepare for in 9-months, and here we had 1 day! It was all of the familiar jitters of preparing your room; loading up on diapers and tiny little white onesies, washing bottles that had been stored in the attic, and reinstalling your behemoth infant car-seat. It's actually pretty exhilarating to knock it all out in one evening and still have time to watch an episode of The Office.

It's hard to exaggerate how excited each of us were about this. I remember Mommy calling me at work to let me know that your Case Worker had picked us as a good family for you, but that we needed to call back immediately to say whether we were ready or not. Of course we were ready! Mommy was crying as she told me about you and it was one our favorite moments to say to each other "ABSOLUTELY! Call them back!"

30 minutes later I was notifying my boss that I would need time off...like lots of it... tomorrow... because you were coming!

We were all at home when the car pulled up outside. It felt a little strange, almost like up until that moment we had been dreaming, but then woken up to discover that it all in fact was very real. Mommy ran out the door and went straight to you. Ethan and Adelaide were excited too, but decided to stay by the door for a second to check things out. I grabbed a camera and soon we were all out by the car, just in time to see you snuggled up in Mommy's arms.

This was a happy day!

You were asleep when you arrived, which we found quite permissible, as you had been on quite a journey to make it all the way to our house. That's a bit of a story in-and-of-itself, and we're excited to tell you more about that someday.

It has been one wonderful year with you as my son. We fell in love with you immediately, and that love is growing deeper each day we wake up. In fact, just last night I felt my love go deeper. I had put you down to sleep for the night, but you decided that you weren't ready and I heard you crying in your room. I opened the door, and there you were, standing-up against the edge your crib that faces the door, as close to the exit as you could get. You just needed a better tuck-in, and so I stole a few more minutes with your head on my chest and sang you some Bob Marley (no Ganja references in 3 Little Birds). I love that your mobility is beginning to match your ambition, and that you are well on your way to leaving the baby-stage to enter toddler-dom.

You brought new experiences into our home too. I'm thinking about Ethan's Treasures, an upgrade to a mini-van, and a very special day unlike anything we have ever experienced as a family!

We thank God so much for you, and wish you a wonderful first birthday!

> Christmas Family Band Photos

2010-12-28T09:26:00.001-06:00

Note: Ethan is playing Julius' head in the first picture. :)

> Santa's Back?

2010-12-09T12:29:00.003-06:00

You may recall that Ethan killed Santa last May in a meanness battle against Adelaide. We thought the damage would be permanent, but a conversation yesterday seems to be showing otherwise.

Our case manager called yesterday to say that she was stopping by to drop off some gifts that Santa had delivered.

Adelaide (excited): ETHAN, I ORDERED A NINTENDO DS FOR YOU! AND ONE FOR ME TOO!

This is both curious and problematic. I think I will inquire a bit more into this whole scenario to gain some clarity. And to the Grandparents, who may feel that this order is a direct appeal to your Grandparent-ness, please stay on course and keep thyself under control!

> Inception and Christmas: For Now We See In A Mirror Dimly

2010-12-08T13:19:00.010-06:00

Christopher Nolan in WIRED talking about Inception:

"I've always believed that if you make a film with ambiguity, it needs to be based on a true interpretation. If it's not, then it will contradict itself, or it will be somehow insubstantial and end up making the audience feel cheated. Ambiguity has to come from the inability of the character to know– and the alignment of the audience with that character."

This quote awoke a few cerebral dots that I desperately wish I were smart enough to better connect. I think this is spot-on insight on storytelling; whether it be via film, literature, music, art or religion. Creating a narrative that invites varying interpretations is a delicate endeavor and, as Nolan mentions, runs the risk of betraying itself or the audience when not well anchored to something more sturdy.

In small ways, it's the tension I feel with art that is removed from it's source context. I sincerely want to appreciate the wall of moss that I faced at the Dallas Museum of Art, and in small ways I engaged my imagination and all my senses (sans touch!) and conjured up my own experience in that very moment. But that wall has a creator that brought original intention, perspective and meaning to the decisions that very much accompany its existence, and that is the underlying Truth of the piece that makes it rational (even if it is deliberately irrational). My own experience may be equally rational, or completely irrational in comparison, but it is a subsequent truth of my own that co-exists and intersects with the original Truth with varying degrees of awareness, often depending on the extent to which the artist allows me to do so (revelation). Titles help- for example the wall of moss was in an exhibition titled "Take Your Time". That fragment of intentionality unlocks a bit of Truth and provides an intersecting point for us, where they have allowed a sliver of their interpretation to inform mine and now interplay can occur (a relationship between creator and audience).

In big ways, it's the interplay of Creator and created. The idea that a great Truth anchors all that we know, made visible in small fragments as they are revealed via acts of revelation from the Author. It's a narrative of paradox. It's knowing and not-knowing, discovering more and understanding less as new questions and new wonder greet each step toward clarity. It's God very much revealing Heirself as the One who sees, hears and knows the suffering of people, and yet refuses to provide a name. (Exodus 3:7-14) It's sensing God's craftsmanship in the intricacies and structures of nature, but crawling our way through science and our imagination to piece together the rationale and potential that lay therein.

"For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. -Paul

For now, to believe in God is to extend my affections and my very being toward a Truth that is both infinitely far and intimately close. It is to accept, by faith, that the Author's story holds true, and that the great mystery that we gaze into is slowly unfolding– through many dangers, toils and snares, toward the completion our blistered souls crave.

But here I am, drawn to mystery and restless for answers. Hoping in the Author's word.

"Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him..." - Jesus

"This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?" - many of his disciples

After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him.
So Jesus said to the Twelve, "Do you want to go away as well?"

Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life..." -John 6:56-57

So to whom shall we go, but to the child, quietly born in Bethlehem, who would later break the divide between heaven and earth and place into hearts an affection for His grace, His victory, and His unfolding mystery.

> Dinner and a Movie

2010-12-06T13:58:00.002-06:00

I know what we're watching tonight! You're never too young for documentaries.

> China Photos

2010-12-01T14:33:00.000-06:00

> A First Thanksgiving

2010-12-01T13:02:00.004-06:00

For the first time ever, Heidi was at the helm in the Thanksgiving kitchen, a task previously championed by our mothers and grandmothers. Add to the equation a kitchen with no oven, a country with no turkey industry, and a brother-in-law that owns 1 fork, and now you have the challenge that Heidi wandered into last week.

A breakdown of the final spread:
1. Turkey: Daniel led us to Pizza Joy, a western restaurant that imports turkeys for Thanksgiving and sells them for $70. Since we had no oven suitable for such a thing, Pizza Joy cooked it for us and had it ready for pick-up Thanksgiving Day.
2. Sweet Potato Casserole: Marshmallows came with us in the suitcase, and combining them with sweet potatoes was a welcome adventure for our non-US guests.
3. Green Bean Casserole (with the proper type of green beans)
4. Stuffing from Pizza Joy (not a good scenario)
5. Deviled Eggs: This was Daniel's project, and it was a beast. Taxi rides to two markets searching for mustard, and several rounds of boiling experiments.
6. Waldorf Salad
7. Crackers and Gourmet Gouda Cheese (the cheese is local, long story)
8. Homemade bread from one of Daniel's friends
9. Cranberry Sauce (packed in our suitcase)
10. Broccoli
10. Apple Pie: Daniel wanted to hide this from the guests. Sure enough, everyone was craving a slice of Americana.
11. 2 Pumpkin Pies and homemade Whipped Cream: Speechless.

Heidi came through and delivered an outstanding meal to our hungry group of 4 American, 3 British and 2 Chinese guests. Overall, a resounding success!

I Love Heidi and I Have Proof

2010-11-11T11:57:00.002-06:00

Heidi, Adelaide and Julius are in Portland, probably enjoying organic gluten-free poppyseed rhubarb muffins and fresh milk from a neighborhood goat this very moment.

Ethan and I are bachelors for the next few days, eating Oatmeal Cream Pies for breakfast and drawing monster trucks when we should be getting dressed for school/work.

That being said, I didn't make the bed this morning.

It's not a firm rule that I do it, rather Heidi and I follow an unspoken last one out policy that makes it a 50/50 chore. But this morning I felt different about it. I was indisputably the last one out, and yet as I looked at the crumpled sheets and yellow throw-pillows (because Ethan and I throw them at each other) sprinkled around the floor, I felt the motivation leave me.

My immediate thought was, I make the bed because I love Heidi.

Nevermind the issues that arise here (that I need Heidi to see it to validate my love, that being an example to Ethan isn't enough motivation, that general tidiness and organization is just better, that this is really just evidence of weak self-discipline). I've already recognized that those are good motivators, and I'll pick one of them tomorrow morning and see if it works.

For now, I'm allowing the unmade bed to remind me that I love my wife.

> Sir Ken Robinson Visualized

2010-11-10T11:44:00.003-06:00

The great pioneer of education reform questions the industrial roots of education, Attention-Deficit Disorder and what an education is truly accomplishing...all accompanied by illustrations!

> IDEAL parenting

2010-11-09T16:50:00.004-06:00

Through our foster/adopt training, we have been exposed several times to the parental guidance of Dr. Karyn Purvis. Her approach to disciplining is refreshing and heavily informed by her research, and we have seen it have a positive effect with the diverse personalities of our kids. She has a book that Heidi read called The Connected Child, and today I found this great summary of her IDEAL steps to healthy discipline.

Easier watched than done, but well worth the effort.

> Late Night Movie

2010-10-26T22:10:00.003-05:00

Ethan just wandered out from bed...the perfect excuse to show him this epic (and kind of confusing conceptually) movie:

> iBand

2010-10-18T09:51:00.004-05:00

If you're a band and your gear is stolen, it's time to bust out the iPhones and let the show go on (and become an internet hit in the process).

(Note the lead guitarist crank up his amp at 1:24!)

> Program Or Be Programmed

2010-10-13T15:26:00.005-05:00

I had to search my own archives to see if I've already mentioned my fondness for Douglas Rushkoff. He's a unique blend of cultural anthropologist, media theorist and storyteller. The magazine that I design for has had Rushkoff as a columnist for 2 years now, which is stunning to me given his reach and notoriety within tech-culture circles.

I find his perspective provoking, not because we arrive at all of the same conclusions (I'm currently reading his book on Judaism), but because he pushes me toward better thinking around issues of shared values, media, culture and religious systems.

Below is a brief video that introduces the topic of his latest book, Program or Be Programmed:

If you're interested in more, then here he is on The Colbert Report, speaking at an O'Reilly Conference, and directing a few PBS Frontline documentaries that pull the curtain back on advertising: Merchants of Cool and The Persuaders

> Perspective

2010-10-12T09:23:00.002-05:00

> Secrt Plan

2010-10-08T09:26:00.003-05:00

As much as Ethan is enjoying Kindergarten, his affections recently wandered toward that covetable last day of class, motivating him to draft a plan for anticipated celebrations. In perfect, secretive fashion, Ethan greeted me on the driveway as I pulled up after work the other day, where he discreetly revealed the details of his contrivance.

It has taken two rounds of negotiations, and the promise of donuts on the way to school on Monday morning, for me to secure permission to make public this highly confidential document.

So, I proudly present to you the agreed upon "secret link" to view the Secrt Plan:
>Reveal the Document

> Music For the Moment

2010-09-28T10:25:00.002-05:00

I've been skimming around my iTunes library looking for the right music for this morning, and I seemed to find a suitable spot to land amongst a few Bill Mallonee songs. Here are a few that you might enjoy as well:

Nothing Like a Train

Sober Up

Solar System

> One Reason I Love the Internet

2010-09-14T14:13:00.005-05:00

Remixes have existed for a while (as Kerby Ferguson is brilliantly exploring in his in-progress documentary Everything Is A Remix) but they've hit a particularly fascinating chapter in their current form on the internet.

Need an example? Awesome, here are some of my current favorites:

1. A newscast about a break-in and assault in Huntsville, AL meets the Gregory Brothers who remix the footage with auto-tuning to create a song that has 21,000,000 hits on YouTube and is now a popular download on iTunes (proceeds go to both parties).

2. Bert and Ernie Try Gangsta Rap. And, go. (Language disclaimer)

3. DJ Steve Porter, who made his YouTube entrance with the infomercial classic Slap Chop Dance Mix, offers a remix of Allen Iverson's "practice" quote along with a few other quotable sports moments.

4. And the one that reduced me to tears. Vader Sessions, where scenes from the original Star Wars are re-dubbed with lines from other James Earl Jones films. So stinking funny. (Language disclaimer)

There are a tons of these remixes on the internet, but some of them strike the perfect balance of timing, cultural relevance and complete absurdity. It's a crazy time for the internet and these remixes are a bizarre part of it all.

> K-R-Y-P-T-O-N-I-T-E

2010-09-13T16:26:00.003-05:00

A co-worker just asked me what words have slim chance of being spelled correctly on my first pass.

I have 2 that beat me down every time.

1. Restaraunt
In 5th grade I got to draw the cover of our school's little book of student work (poems, short stories, drawings). I don't know why, but my drawing was of our school with a restaurant sign out front? Concept concerns aside, I submitted the drawing and was told that I spelled restaurant wrong. White out fixed it, and I think of that moment every time I write the cursed word, but the u never fails to sneak its way over to the other a.

2. Rhythm
Ha, I just spelled it right! This word feels like a shotgun of letters coming off my fingers as I type. I know there's an unnecessary h somewhere in there, so I just kind of send all of the letters out and hope for the best.

Oh, and I just learned that the word unnecessary bests me as well. Couldn't we just agree to double up on all the consonants? If we are going to sprinkle in unnecessary letters, then let's really make it unneccessarry.

Anyone care to share your language art nemeses?

> To Be Reckoned With

2010-09-08T21:47:00.001-05:00

> Pool!

2010-08-23T09:54:00.001-05:00

> It's The End of the World as He Knows It

2010-08-23T09:03:00.003-05:00

To Ethan,
Right now, you are sitting in your first day of Kindergarten. Your room looked pretty awesome, and I saw a nice new can of Play-Dough waiting for you at your seat. Funny, I have Play-Dough at my desk too!

Mommy and I are really excited about all of this, and we think you are going to have a great time at school. I can't wait to come home and hear about everything that you did today. I'm especially excited for you to open up your lunch and see the napkin notes that Mommy and I hid in there.

You are a thoughtful, smart and dang funny kid... all key ingredients to cooking up a stellar school experience. There are sure to be some rough spots, but we'll take them as they come and aim for grace as best we can. I love you this much plus infinity, and I am very proud of you.

To Heidi,
Judes, I'm intensely grateful for you today. You have poured an immense amount of love and care into Ethan over the past six years and have helped prepare him for such a time as this. He is so comfortable in his skin; curious and sensitive (usually!) and will find his way well in his new social digs. I could not imagine a greater mother for our little man, and I am so proud of your relentless commitment to our family.

It's the end of the world as he knows it,
and he feels fine.

> DDR

2010-08-23T08:47:00.001-05:00

I'm not ashamed of this. Once you get over the feeling of terror that you are about to look like an idiot in front of your co-workers, it becomes really fun.

@ Tattered Cover Bookstore in Denver last week

2010-08-10T15:06:00.002-05:00

(Note that Ethan picked out a book about school, clearly he's cramming in preparation for the fast approaching first day)

> The Best Thing You've Heard Today

2010-07-22T12:22:00.002-05:00

LL Cool J + Dexy's Midnight Runners= Two Nostalgic songs uniting into Mega-Awesomeness

Get the free mp3 from the mash-up artist LobsterDust here.

> On the Lake

2010-07-19T17:06:00.002-05:00

> Entanglement

2010-07-06T12:36:00.003-05:00

This is an addicting little online game. My current best is 70.

//UPDATE: Just hit 87!
//UPDATE: 121!

> Sunday Evening

2010-06-29T13:40:00.005-05:00

I'm still not sure how to describe what happened in our living room two days ago, but here are a few pictures to prove that something spectacular went down.

> Internet Round-Up

2010-06-28T12:51:00.002-05:00

Last night was one of the most stunning evenings of my life, but I'm still floating in the afterglow and not quite ready to post highlights. So here are some fun internet delights as an appetizer:

What if an AT-AT was your family pet?

A staring contest with Animal (featuring Ira Glass, OK-GO, Animal the Muppet, and Zack Galifinakis?)

Speaking of OK-GO, if you haven't seen their internet phenom music videos, then you you need to watch End Love, the epic This Too Shall Pass, and This Too Shall Pass 2 (recorded with the Notre Dame marching band)

Need to watch the World Cup on your computer? Go here.

And watch an inspiring merger of food, science and health in this TED Talk, How to Eat to Starve Cancer (Highly recommended!!!)

> Grief Observed

2010-06-18T23:12:00.005-05:00

I watched Ethan grieve today.

We temporarily helped another foster family by taking on an 18-month old boy that had just been removed from his home but was not able to be placed with his foster family for several days. For the past 8 days or so, we dabbled in the wild waters of being a family of six. We had a ton of help from family (thank you!), and tried our best to gracefully manage our new circumstances.

Most of the days were difficult for me, as our new friend was very timid around men, crying and running for Heidi every time I took a step toward him. It was difficult to wonder what had caused this fear, and it made for quite the challenge when Heidi left me one night to put the kids down without her. He actually went to sleep relatively quickly, but it was clearly his last resort after my failed attempts at humor and slogans of comfort translated into Spanish via the iPhone.

Ethan and Adelaide embraced their role as temporary siblings with an abundance of enthusiasm and grace. Every morning both of them would burst into our friend's room to crawl into his crib and coax him out to start his day. His primary language was spanish, and "No" was his response of choice. It seemed like Ethan and Adelaide both new intuitively when to ignore the "no" and press in closer to help our friend along. (Ethan did endure a few punches, which might be why he is interested in Karate all of the sudden?)

This morning our friend and I played with a car at the breakfast table, and for a few moments I privately celebrated some progress!

We knew that our time with him was short, but I think it caught us all a bit off-guard to get the call from his foster mom to arrange his pick-up today. I arrived home from work, and within the hour she was at our door to pick up our friend and his laundry basket of earthly belongings (a Spongebob pillow, some clothes, and a Spiderman toy that we added to the mix). He cried as Heidi strapped him into a different van, and Ethan, Adelaide and I stood on the sidewalk taking in the big goodbye that was unfolding too abruptly. The van drove away, and we headed back inside as five.

Heidi and I were the last ones in, and found Ethan underneath our piano bench sobbing. His tears were the first, joined quickly by everyone's. Heidi crawled next to him and together they cried as all of us felt the loss of a little boy that came and went.

Ethan walked over to our camera and viewed the most recent picture, one that we took of all of us just as the foster-mom rang the doorbell. He was remembering our friend and I thought it remarkable that he think of such a thing to do.

I thought Braum's was in order so we forsook brushing our teeth and got ice cream instead. It helped, but even still Ethan shared that he wished our friend was there to eat ice cream too.

We prayed for our friend before bed. Ethan prayed that the mom and dad would stop doing whatever it was that caused such sad times for our friend. Thankfully, the kids were exhausted and quickly fell asleep.

In the morning, we're heading out early to our new favorite spot (the bike trails) to bike and enjoy the woods.

Tomorrow morning will feel different for all of us, and our prayers will continue to be said for our little friend.

> Do Unto Others

2010-06-16T11:03:00.001-05:00

> We Are Not Invited to Adelaide's Next Party

2010-06-13T23:05:00.002-05:00

"At my next birthday party, I am going to wear my birthday suit.

I guess I won't be able to invite anybody."

> Mountain Biking

2010-06-07T14:31:00.008-05:00

Just uploaded a fresh batch of pictures (see the slideshow) from some of our latest adventures. Mountain Biking is officially a hit, and both Ethan and Adelaide are blowing me away with their eagerness to hit the trails hard! We enjoyed a sunrise session before church yesterday (in the pictures), and I'm thinking of surprising them with another go at it tomorrow morning before work.

We have a great nearby trail system (Rowlett Creek Nature Preserve) with 16-miles of rated loops. We've quickly worked our way up to doing 4-loops in a single session (about 3 miles), and I'm hoping that we'll be able to add a 5th in the next couple of weeks. Being out there on the trails with both of them is sheer delight, and it's becoming one of my favorite things to do with them. It's the perfect mix of adventure, nature and sport... with a few perilous dips and turns sprinkled in to make Daddy the hero that gets them through unscathed...or mostly unscathed.

The other pictures are from a local skate park/BMX track, which the kids also love. Adelaide is swallowed up by the jumps and hills, but she pedals like a mad-woman and makes her way through the track like a champ. It's quite a sight!

The plan to get both of them addicted to biking is going very smoothly.

> Art For the Walls

2010-06-02T12:17:00.000-05:00

Here are three prints that need to be on our walls!
"Daniel" by Hammo "Kids Discover Magic Mountain" by Jacqueline Bos "Vader with a Parasol" by David Barton

> The S Bomb

2010-05-26T15:41:00.002-05:00

The other day Ethan, upset with Adelaide, dug deep into his resources and unleashed the mother of all that is unkind in sibling weaponry; the sort that can never again be used... stashed away for that perfect moment when a devastating blow of astronomic, paradigm-shifting proportions is so desperately called for:

"Adelaide, Santa is not real."

> Swagger Wagon

2010-05-26T13:34:00.002-05:00

Toyota's bringing the cred to our Sienna. Makes me want to replace our missing hubcap with some ill chrome.

> Sir Ken Robinson Strikes Again!

2010-05-25T15:34:00.002-05:00

"Human resources are like natural resources, they are often buried deep. You have to go looking for them. They're not just lying around on the surface- you have to create the circumstances where they show themselves. And you might imagine education would be the way that happens, but too often it's not."

2010: An Appeal for Dramatic Change in Education

2004: Education is Killing Creativity

> New Nike World Cup ad is epic

2010-05-25T10:59:00.002-05:00

> Disney Teaches Girls

2010-05-25T10:30:00.001-05:00

Seen on BoingBoing.

> Fly

2010-05-21T15:44:00.001-05:00

I too find myself in grand pursuit of flies in the house.

> 99% Inspiring

2010-05-19T14:49:00.002-05:00

New motion graphics from one of the most inspiring organizations on the planet. Helps us dreamers turn into doers.

> The Rebellion

2010-05-14T09:59:00.002-05:00

According to Ethan, it only makes sense that Luke Skywalker would wear Airwalk socks.

> My Favorite Designer Makes a Commercial

2010-04-28T13:40:00.003-05:00

Saying that Stephan Saigmaister is my favorite designer is a bit like choosing Kobe Bryant as a favorite basketball player. He is a celebrity in the industry, evidenced by his client list and an invite to speak at TED a few years ago.

Most of his work is a marriage of environmental design with photography and traditional print production, creating very rich, layered pieces that I find to be fantastically immersing.

So here is his commercial for Standard Chartered Bank, with the behind the scenes video below it.

> Architects Evaluating Couch-Cushion Structures

2010-04-28T11:11:00.003-05:00

Couch castles and homes are a frequent fixture in our home, so I found these critiques from BUILD highly amusing!

See Part 1
See Part 2

Below is one of my favorites:
"While typically the stacked foundation technique leads to a stable and impressive base, this particular application seems dubious. Fraught with apparent labor strikes the project is rumored to have developed irreconcilable technical inadequacies and unresolved scheduling conflicts." Grade: D-

> Even a SandGnat Gets Bit

2010-04-27T15:38:00.004-05:00

(Ethan scoring a run against the Hooks a few games ago)

The previously undefeated SandGnats encountered the mighty Hooks last night, who gained a salty 11-0 lead on us after two innings. In the end there weren't enough hits that made it past the pitcher's mound to overcome that mighty deficit.

Amazingly, the post-game sprint to the snow cone stand by the SandGnats did not appear affected.

> Earth From Mars

2010-04-27T10:44:00.000-05:00

> Too Proud

2010-04-16T11:11:00.003-05:00

Heard this song this morning and was struck by a lot of thoughts, many of them wrapped around the intertwining of our frailty with the generosity, love and help that comes from above.

Enjoy this live version of the song Too Proud, by The Blackthorn Project and Aaron Strumpel. The song is on the album "Fourth Circle", from the Enter The Worship Circle folks.

>Show Lyrics

I’m too proud to ask, too broke to eat
Too weak to bow, too strong to bleed

Can you sing over me words of comfort
Can you satisfy me, sweet honey
Can you break through me, with your strong hands
Can you undo me, enough to heal me

You take the weight from my shoulders
My hands were clinched now they’re open
I’ll take your goodness, pour it from the sky
Food from the ravens, water from the dry well

> Listen to a Man Singing to His Grave

2010-04-13T11:41:00.005-05:00

There are few albums in my iTunes that exist as an experience, from the first track to the last. Albums that shine in their entirety, uninterrupted. A few weeks ago a new album joined the list, the final recordings of the late, great Johnny Cash. Producer Rick Rubin captured gold in the American Series when he approached the aged Cash and gave him a recording set-up in his living room to sing anything and everything that came to mind.

A mix of originals and covers sprang forth and filled up 6 albums, with June Carter Cash passing away during the sessions, and Johnny passing away 4 months later.

American VI: Ain't No Grave demands to be listened to from start to finish. It's a man wielding his craft to the end, singing through loss, hope and faith. Chains dragging as an instrument on the title track capture the intensity and earthy faith that defined the Man in Black. Redemption Day continues the story, and the last track, Aloha Oe, captures his love for music, for life, and his ability to tell his own story through the art of other people and other cultures (perhaps the most profound example of this is his rendition of Trent Reznor's Hurt).

The album is the stunning last chapter to a striated life that found itself threaded tighter and tighter to the redemption and grace of Christ. Regret and satisfaction intertwine, adding the full weight of life and death to the last three words of the song Redemption Day:

"Freedom. Freedom. Freedom."

> The Best Idea of the Day: Use FUN over CONSEQUENCE to affect behavior

2010-04-13T10:16:00.003-05:00

From Volkswagen

> Nuit Blanche

2010-04-12T11:07:00.002-05:00

Enjoy this stunning short film (which landed the creator, Arev Manoukian, a feature film project!)

Read more about it, and watch a behind the scenes video here.

> Fantastic Designer Nerd Tweet

2010-04-12T10:17:00.003-05:00

If you want to marry this guy, then read up on the differences here.

> Adelaide Rides!

2010-04-07T16:28:00.002-05:00

And then jogs to the snowcone stand.

> Ethan's Treasures

2010-04-06T13:22:00.005-05:00

For the past two months we've noticed Ethan becoming increasingly concerned with the things we discard. Tears have been shed over empty cereal boxes and tiny pieces of gum wrapper, as he insists that it all be "kept forever" and added to his collection of "treasures". Many of the smaller items are taken to a safe hiding place; on top of the fan blades in his bedroom... a spot only accessible from his top bunk (or by the reach of a really tall Daddy).

Throwing things away has gotten a bit tricky around the house, requiring a bit of stealthiness to get any given object safely deposited into our trash/recycle bins.

This recent habit struck us as quite odd and a bit perplexing... if not somewhat embarassing (particularly when witnessed by anyone else!).

The light bulb clicked a few weeks ago though when Heidi and Ethan had a conversation about one of our family's most pressing fears; losing J-Dub (our two-month old foster baby). We've tried to make sure that our kids understand the unique dynamics that come with fostering, including leaving room for the possibility that J-Dub might return to his biological family.

Ethan and Adelaide have a tremendous amount of love for our new little guy, which is remarkable for Heidi and I to witness. We share in their sense of fear that J-Dub's life-path is yet to be determined by courts and lawyers and forces beyond us, and it has been deeply special for us to recognize Ethan's unique expression of those fears.

Heidi had the insight to see the connection, and I'm so grateful for the way she has both protected Ethan's means of processing and fostered open communication about it all. This is a unique season of life for our family... one marked with uncertainty, grace, and lots of hidden treasures.

> Empty School

2010-04-06T11:26:00.003-05:00

I think my mother-in-law might be helping a bunch of kids learn to be this cool, and that is pretty great!

From Boing Boing:
Ben Meyers is a 17-year-old who spent a month putting together this video that combines improvised percussion—done on the lockers, doors and other various parts of his school—with piano and xylophone melodies. It's all played by him, recorded separately and edited together in the video. Wired's Steve Silberman tells me that young Ben is off to the Berklee College of Music in the fall.

> Bedtime Prayer

2010-04-03T20:05:00.002-05:00

God, please help Adelaide not eat her boogers.

And Julius to not eat his, when he is 1 year old, or 2 or 3.

Amen.

- Ethan

> T-Ball Debut

2010-03-30T17:13:00.003-05:00

Ethan had his first official game (of any kind) this past weekend. He entered the game nervous, but had a great debut! He went to bat three times, scored twice and had 2 RBI's in the last inning to help his team edge out a win. It was a lot of fun to watch, and Ethan had a great time. One of his highlights was playing catcher;

"Hey, I look like Darth Vader".

See all of the T-Ball pics here.

> Undercover Boss

2010-03-29T13:08:00.005-05:00

I haven't been watching the show, but I saw (on a blog that I shall not disclose) that the CEO of Herschend Entertainment (owner of Silver Dollar City amusement park) was going undercover to experience the frontline jobs of his company. The episode hit many of my interest points:

• amusement parks
• adoption!
• creative corporate culture
• life-friendly business practices

The story that unfolds in the episode is very moving, and displays a large company trying to prioritize the quality of life of both the employees and the consumers. So, take a few moments and watch this great episode online.

> Stunning Short Film from Spike Jonze

2010-03-25T13:59:00.003-05:00

Watch I'm Here, the new, wonderful, visually rich short film from Spike Jonze about love and self-destruction.

> Math, Art, Nature

2010-03-23T09:32:00.002-05:00

I realize now that my art school experience attempted to offer a course in math and art. The professor was a mythical man, so lost in the concepts that the realities never made it out of his brain and into ours. We would meet each week and look at the same slides of his conceptual clocks and chessboards; manifestations of the Fibonacci Sequence cross-bred with narratives of racial oppression and white domination over black.

During one of our classes, my roommate was talking in the back of the class and the professor interpreted this as a racially charged attack on his ideas. No joke, he asked my scrawny, white roommate to step outside to "settle it". It was the closest an art school has ever come to a physical fight (outside of a critique or a group project).

All of this to say that the math/art connection has been a late bloomer for me, as I have stumbled into the principles along the way in my design career. The math beneath design is a stunning underworld of organization, clarity and balance. A tight, precise framework that our brains are hardwired to respond to.

Here is a recent animation that is a great illustration of some of these intersections, and I wish that such a thing had been available back in my jr. high/high school/art school math classes. Might have clicked sooner.

> Light Through the Cracks

2010-03-22T13:45:00.003-05:00

"Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in."

This chorus from Leonard Cohen's stunning Anthem just came through my headphones and captured me for a moment.

Light (and cold air) leaked through Heidi and I's back door for a while, letting us know that the seal between the door and the frame was less than perfect. It was evidence of what was true: a shifting foundation, wood warping and an aged doorway.

Light flows through the cracks because it has to. It's the law of physics.

Grace flows the same way. Not through perfect offerings, but through cracks. To acknowledge the cracks is to affirm the means by which grace is received. If any of my thought toward grace is threaded into the idea that my 'perfect offering' is an enabler, then my grace is not being received but earned... and that is not a Christ-centered idea.

What I do believe to be a Christ-centered idea is that "there is a crack in everything." And if this is true, then grace can find its way... into everything.

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us." (2 Cor 4.7)

> Skype Envy

2010-03-12T20:22:00.003-06:00

Skyping with my bro-in-law, envying the beard. What's new?

> Endurance Challenge

2010-03-05T11:58:00.003-06:00

At work some of us play a little endurance game where we send out a video and see who can watch the longest without looking away, hitting stop or losing all sense of self. Here is today's submission:

If you can make it to the 1:25 mark, you're crazy and will be rewarded with a turn in the song that will surely bring ~~your ruin~~ much delight.

> Other Submissions

> A Bandwidth Band

2010-03-02T15:44:00.002-06:00

8 people from 4 continents, speaking 3 languages, collaborate online to produce 1 song.

> Monster Jam Pictures

2010-03-01T20:23:00.002-06:00

See all of the pics of our rowdy heartland monster truck rally here.

> Ethan...

2010-02-26T13:05:00.004-06:00

...mommy and I think you're pretty great, and we know that you're working hard as a big brother to Adelaide and J-Dub...so we wanted to give you a little something something... Are you ready for this?
> Yes, I'm Ready

Tomorrow night we're Monster Jam'n!

> Olympics Unplugged

2010-02-22T10:23:00.003-06:00

Take a few minutes and watch the live replay of the Men's Super G downhill skiing on NBC's Olympics web site. What is stunning to me is the audio, which features no music or commentary layered in, but instead just captures the ambient sounds from each camera along the route. You hear helicopter blades, cowbells and the skid of skis screaming over icy snow. You also hear the silence at the starting gate as each racer tightens goggles and checks their bindings and attempts to exhale the adrenaline-fueled tension.

It is a refreshing supplement to the production circus that we usually consume.

> Snow in Dallas

2010-02-17T11:39:00.003-06:00

Pictures of our two days of record snowfall can be seen here.

> Olympics

2010-02-12T19:05:00.004-06:00

While watching the intro segments that beautifully captured the scenery of Canada and the athletes competing, Heidi mentioned to the kids that it was making her cry. She mentioned that the ice skaters reminded her of ballerinas, which prompted Adelaide to say that "it's making me cry too!".

The footage then cut to an aerial shot of the city of Vancouver, and Ethan chimed in, "It's making me cry too. That looks like the Death Star!"

> Baseball, Illustrated

2010-02-11T15:57:00.003-06:00

This past Saturday Ethan had "try-outs" for tee-ball, where they go through a few drills to evenly build the teams for the upcoming season. I felt it necessary to at least familiarize him with the other stuff that happens beyond hitting the ball (the part he loves).

So we took to the chalk-wall and the lesson began. Seemed to be going smoothly until I noticed Ethan adding a yellow line curving down from home-plate.

"Is that a foul ball?" I asked.

"No, home plate is a trap-door, and the batter falls down and goes down this slide into the hot lava."

I am preparing myself now for our son to be the one out in left-field pretending his glove is the Millennium-Falcon while the parents next to us scream at their son to widen his stance and aim for left field.

Good times.

> Snow Pirates

2010-02-11T14:57:00.005-06:00

A rare gift of snow in Dallas, plus an unused top level of the parking garage at work...

(I'm the one being pummeled by the cannonball, my boss is the one swinging on the rope)

(Update: A big thanks for The Dallas Observer including this bit of fun on their blog)

> Breakfast Entertainment

2010-01-20T10:27:00.003-06:00

While at the breakfast table this morning, we partook of a few internet delights:

1. Adidas/Star Wars Cross-promotional
Not sure what to make of this (Snoop Dogg and Stormtroopers?), but it had enough Star Wars in it to catch our interest. And the re-mixed Imperial March theme is kind of fun.

2. Japanese Game Show Meets Animal Planet
We have MTV, they have their entire culture.

3. Coca-Cola Snowball Fight
This was the run-away hit. Watched it several times.

> But I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking/Praying/Working/Dying For

2010-01-18T13:40:00.005-06:00

"Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land!"

-Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., speech delivered on April 3, 1968

> The Third and the Seventh

2010-01-12T13:55:00.005-06:00

Saw this short film today and found it stunning. I was emailing back and forth about it with my boss, and below is some of what I wrote:

In the first few minutes I found myself thinking, “Okay, it’s another environmental fly-through.” But the pace, execution and visual artistry became immersive very quickly. I began to feel the environments, as if the film was sparking parts of the brain that usually ignore what’s on a screen. Each new environment brought feelings and a tone, as if I had just come upon them on a private walk. Maybe meditative is what I’m reaching for here?

Recognizing the music helped me immerse, and it actually began to remind me of similar environments (elegant, modern, clean surfaces) in Gattaca. A similarity in Gattaca is the incredible human-ness of the story; that in a cold, futurist environment warm life exists. Here... nature, wind, light, plants breath life into the architecture and feel like a part of the cast of characters (as much as the photographer).

It reminded me of what I felt watching The Fountain, Gattaca and, in a way, Children of Men. Movies where life feels represented.

To really enjoy the film, watch it full-screen (click on the expanding arrows in the film window) with enough quiet to spend a few minutes immersed in it.

> The Empire Strikes the Playroom Wall

2010-01-04T10:15:00.003-06:00

For Christmas we covered one of our playroom walls with some chalkboard paint that mysteriously appeared in our garage (Katie and Thomas, did we inherit this from you?). It was the largest gift-wrapping effort I've taken on (I owe Heidi two rolls), but it was worth it for the intrigue leading up to Christmas and for the unveiling.

(We also recently re-watched Empire Strikes Back, so the wall naturally became a place for us to document our favorite parts.)

>Pomplamoose - Always In The Season

2009-12-18T12:36:00.003-06:00

A friend of mine, who seeks to trump all of us by actually being in Bethlehem this Christmas, happens to also be a huge fan of Broadway musicals. It's the biggest threat to my golf game, but that's another story.

Anyway, the sensational internet band Pomplamoose has released their version of a Christmas carol...with plenty of Broadway flair. My friend is also a video producer/editor, so I think he'll enjoy the homemade production value.

If you haven't heard of these guys, then click the link to watch their fantastic versions of Beat It, Single Ladies and La Vie en Rose >Show me!

> Mall Santa is so 2000 and Late

2009-12-18T12:21:00.002-06:00

Here are some customized messages from Santa that Ethan and Adelaide got today.

Adelaide:
Video

Ethan:
Video

You can make your own for free here: http://portablenorthpole.tv/home/

> Handbell Choirs Are Rad

2009-12-15T09:26:00.003-06:00

Improv Everywhere strikes with some Christmas spirit by adding a guerilla handbell choir to a Salvation Army Bellringer's post. The result:

Seen on LaughingSquid