Dessert and Such

Tonight the rule at dinner was no dessert unless all veggies were eaten.

We went through the various stages of incentive programs: verbal reminders, a "claw game" that involves their bites pushing back a sinister claw (my hand) grabbing for their forbidden sweets, me with a guitar drumming up improv motivational songs, and then eventually... the timer.

The timer is the legalist of all legalists. Precise, ruthlessly calculated, with no gracious slowing down between seconds. The cold beeps come quickly and do not lie. And tonight the timer made Ethan a winner, and Adelaide a loser. If she had eaten the veggies with the vigor she displayed during the last 30 seconds, then we would have been done way back during the verbal reminder stage, but that's just not what we humans do.

So, Ethan claimed his prize and Adelaide initiated the next chapter of our dinner saga:

"Daddy, can I still have dessert?"

I'm sure the questions get harder as they get older...but for now this is pretty much the worst of the worst. It hits both the parental duty nerve and the melt-my-heart-sweet-daughter nerve simultaneously, causing instant disorientation that the kids fully exploit. Here is the conversation that followed:

Daddy: "Adelaide did you follow the rule?"
Adelaide: "No."
Daddy: "So if you didn't follow the rule, is it fair that you should get dessert?"
Adelaide: "Daddy, can I have dessert."

Daddy: "Well, you can't, because you broke the rule."
Adelaide: "I tried to eat my vegetables."
Daddy: "I know you did, but the rule wasn't about trying."
Ethan: "Daddy, just give her the dessert."
Daddy: "I can't, then I'm breaking the rule."

At this point, the kids were both laying on the tile of the kitchen; Ethan with candy in his mouth, Adelaide waiting for something to give. I decided I'd use this moment to explain forgiveness, God's gift of love, the greatness of God giving us second chances by letting Jesus take our punishment. I thought I pretty much nailed it.

Ethan: "This is taking like 8 hours."
Adelaide: "Daddy, can I have dessert?"

I wrapped it up by telling Adelaide that I would not have dessert tonight, and that even though it would hurt me a bit, I'd be happy to do it so that she could. I told her that I'd take on the consequence of breaking the rule, and that she could now go and get dessert.

Then she cried. She was sad that I said that it would hurt me. I knew that was a strong way to say it, so I made sure to explain it so that she wasn't confused. She quickly moved on to dessert once I assured her that I was happy for her to do so.

I told her to enjoy the dessert and to think about how much more God must love us with all of the things He gives us.

Adelaide: "Okay Daddy."
Ethan: "Yeah, he made cows, and... THEY GIVE US ICE CREAM!"